When ever I share a piece of writing here, it hasn’t been written specifically for this page. Instead, it was a part of my heart that needed to be expressed at the time I wrote it. I don’t often re-read what I write. There are so many books and so many pages that have been filled over the years, my collection is now extensive. This venture is a way to share what was once inside me, in the hopes that I would be able to impart life to others who might one day come across my words.
As I was taking a rare opportunity to read through some of my heart, this piece of writing asked to be shared. So here I share it.
Everything negative that I could possibly dream of that another could say to me, concerning some of my choices I’ve made in life, have already been said to me. Because of my unrelenting of those choices, I have had friends walk away from me.
I have put other friendships on hold, with the desperate hope that they would still accept me when I came back to them, whenever that might be. Those that did accept me, gave me the true picture of what strength in a relationship looked like.
I have pushed my body to its physical limits with lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of self-care and when I found I had reached my limits, I pushed myself even further.
I kept taking one step forward, simply for the sake of another.
In their weakness, I was determined to be a comfort, a source of strength.
When they were low, I would make sure I was there to help them rise.
In their moment of isolation, I wanted to be their reminder that they were not forgotten.
In the time of hopelessness, I kept hope alive.
When they had no fight left, I put the armour on and I charged onto the battleground for them.
I had no obligation to stay, but that of my own heart, my own humanity, my own capacity for love and ultimately my willingness to embrace compassion.
Not for my own gain, but instead for the sake of literal life and breath of another, who, at the time, was on their last breath and life line.
My story is not one to be shared because of the purpose of presenting a whole and grounded person worthy of praise. No. My story is told because I am not the only one who has traveled the journey of being a support for one who could not support themselves. For those who have been and are still, a supporter of one or many, walking a journey others walked away from. I tell you now, that you are seen. You are worthy. You are highly valued. Without you, the world would have lost a spark, a shinning light. I know it is hard. I know you are walking a road with more weight than what should be asked of you. I know there are nights where you wonder how on earth you will survive another day. I know that if time let you, you would crumble into a ball and weep until your heart bled dry, but you never have the time so your heart just swells with the internal pain instead. I know, I’ve been in similar shoes. So, I hope you can hear me when I say this:
You are the true superheroes of this world. You are the unseen, generous hearted hero’s.
I see you.
You are not alone. You have value, beyond what you could ever imagine.
When ever your head gets a moment to rest, may your soul be at peace, for however long that moment is. May you find the Strength that allows you to truly believe it when you say, “what ever my lot…it is well with my soul”.
In the depths of my pain, I found the remnants of joy. That cementing joy, far from happiness, that allowed me to be in the isolating darkness of another’s sense of hopelessness and wholeheartedly believe it, when I said to the Keeper of my Heart, “what ever my lot…it is well with my soul”.